This is a weak update

Bad news first: I gained back a little of what I lost, but I've still lost overall. I've been really bad about keeping track, so I'm going to try and get better at that.

Good news: Today, I went to the gym and pushed it hardcore on the elliptical. It felt incredible. And of course by "incredible" I mean "exhausting and sweaty and painful." But seriously, it was a great workout. Somehow, I managed 3.65 miles in 33 minutes. That has to be a new personal record. Either that or miles at the YWCA are shorter than they are in real life.

Up next: figuring out a way to eat healthy when all of my healthy foods go bad so quickly :[

♥Sassy

Holy cow!

This is going to be a short post, because I have to get ready for work and class, but I wanted to update y'all. This week went pretty well in terms of eating, though there were two or three meals when I either ate more than I should have, or a little bit of something that was incredibly unhealthy. It was relatively easy to get back on track, but I was a little worried about those missteps.

Well, I weighed in this morning, and I'm down 3.8 pounds! My snazzy new scale has users and all of that fancy stuff built in, and it tells you how much you've lost or gained since your last weigh in (which is great for those of us who can't do mental math early in the morning...or most other times, for that matter), and I literally had to crouch down and stare at it to make sure it said what I thought it did. So I re-weighed myself, and yes, it's true. Such a fabulous feeling.

I think I owe it to portion control. Last night, I made dinner for two of my friends, and instead of piling all of the food in the middle of the table, I made up our plates and brought them to the table. I didn't feel compelled to get up and get more, and it wasn't just within my reach. Earlier this week, when I ate in the dining hall, I got my big salad and just a few buffalo wings, and I used my little bit of self-control to not get up and get more. It seems to be working, so I'm excited to see what happens when we throw working out into the mix!

The Beginning

Alright, so I guess I should finally update this and let you all (umm, all three of you...) know how this week has been so far.

I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of healthy food so I can start cooking for myself again. Let me tell you, it is really hard to cook for one person And to eat by yourself. I feel like such a loser. But a lot of times, if I'm going to a friend's apartment for dinner, I might as well drive myself to the hospital afterward to have my arteries unclogged. Luckily, some of my friends have been kind enough to let me cook for them, so I made a delicious and healthy stir fry the other night and it was great. I need to do more of that. Or just start cooking for myself.

Next week starts the butt-kicking workouts. I've been really, really terrible about getting to bed at a reasonable hour. Mostly because I go and sit in my friends' apartment for a few hours every night. I should probably nip that in the bud, but it's hard when I live by myself and get really lonely when I just sit in my apartment and do my own thing. Anyway, I need to start getting to bed by 10:00 (oh geeze) so I can get up and be at the gym by 5:45. I figure I can still get seven hours of sleep with that kind of a schedule; it's just a matter of sticking to it. I'll probably do the gym on Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, since the previous nights aren't too terrible.

I talked to Pinks last night (btw, that's the new nickname for ALP, the bride) and she was asking what I see myself in for the wedding. We got to talking about O: GWH, and she was so incredibly supportive. Not at all because she wants me to look a certain way for her wedding, but because she wants me to be happy. It's great to have such awesome friends :]

Alright, so now for the goals. By Christmas, I want to have lost 20 pounds. That's in 11 weeks, so it's going to mean some serious business. But it needs to be done. Ideally, by July, I would like to be down at least 50 pounds total. I'm not sure if that's feasible or not; it assumes more than a pound a week overall, and I know from experience that when I get to a certain point, I hit a plateau and can't get past it. I think it really is about having a goal in mind, in terms of how I want to look for the wedding, and just always striving for that.

Now, a practical question...how do I get a bridesmaid dress in the next few months when I'm hoping to lose so much weight?!

I wanna be hot

Hello all! As LNDQ so eloquently said (and if we're doing nicknames, I would like to be Sassy. I thought about being SS, but that's a little too "Nazi secret police" for me), I wanna be hot. I've struggled with weight since...well, forever, but I think I'm finally at a place where I'm ready to take control. I've graduated from college, so no more of this "college lifestyle" excuse anymore. Granted, I am in grad school full time, but that will not be an excuse. There is a perfectly good YWCA within eyesight of my apartment building, and there are so many cookbooks and websites for healthy cooking, there is no reason I can't start eating healthier. I am gonna get hot.

Now, I don't know about LNDQ (well, actually, I do, but I don't want to put words in her mouth or anything!), but my definition of hot does not look like either of the following:

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I think of hot as a mindset. If you think you're hot, you're hot. Now that could easily turn into delusion, but I'd like to stay in the real world, so I have some idea of how I envision myself looking when I am hot. But I also have an idea of how I'll feel. Like I can go clothes shopping with all of my friends and not feel self-conscious about trying things on. Like I don't really dislike what I see when I look in the mirror in the morning (afternoon/evening...whenever). Like I can not worry about whether or not people are making snap judgments about me based solely on my appearance. Those kinds of things. There will be more on this later, when I talk about goals.

My ultimate goal is to be healthy. But honestly? A huge motivator in this is wanting to look awesome at my best friend's wedding (also, I have like, six best friends, so I'll use initials to keep them straight when I talk about them). I had this revelation last night, when I was desperately trying to get to sleep but couldn't seem to turn off my brain. You can read the entire post over at The Sassy Seminarian, but I'm copying and pasting the important part over here. You can read that below.

I'm excited about this new development. I'm excited that LNDQ and I can do this together, even though we're 62 miles apart at the moment. I'm excited that some of my friends at the seminary have already agreed to work out with me so I have some accountability there. I'm really excited to see the changes that are going to happen over the next few months, both physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But most of all, I'm excited to finally get this one aspect of my life under control, something I haven't been able to do in the past.

I hope you'll bear with me through this process. I am already mortified at the thought of posting before/during/after photos here, for everyone to see. Just fyi, I probably won't post my actual weight, because the numbers thing is terrifying for me. I'll do +/- (hopefully only the latter!) updates...which means I should probably get a scale...anyway, I'm hoping that committing to this with someone else will keep me accountable, and the public aspect of it will help keep me motivated.

So, without further ado, the post that started it all. Basically, the first few paragraphs deal with my intense love for weddings. I'll say it here too: I. love. weddings. But anyway, here's where we pick up the important part:

That being said, I practically passed out with joy when said newly-engaged best friend (ALP, as she will be known henceforth) asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I've never been in a wedding before, and I couldn't be more honored to be asked to be in this one. It's even more exciting because, as I mentioned, her soon-to-be husband (JD, for space's sake) is also a good friend of mine, so there won't be any of the awkwardness of "who is this guy you're marrying?" going on. Added bonus: her maid of honor is her younger sister (RP), who I've met a few times and is completely fantastic, and the other bridesmaid (LFT) is my other best friend from college! LFT and I always have more fun than I believe is legally allowed at dances and weddings, so ALP & JD's wedding is going to be absolute insanity. Oh my word, I am excited.

As of now, the wedding is potentially in July of 2010...meaning I have about ten months to get Bridesmaid Hot. I'm going to be honest here: ALP, RP and LFT are flat-out hot. We don't mince words here at the seminary, in case you haven't noticed. I would like to be hot as well. So, that means a few things:

• Raid my fridge and eliminate anything that is disgustingly unhealthy. This should be easy, since my fridge is kind of empty now.
• Only get lunch in the refectory (read: mini-cafeteria) on days that have healthier food. Sadly, this means I will not get to experience the wing bar or creamy pasta sauces, but I will indulge in huge plates of salad with generous portions of cucumbers, carrots and broccoli, a sprinkling of sunflower seeds, and some fat-free dressing.
• Eliminate soda from my vocabulary. This is very difficult, especially when it tastes so good mixed with a little bit of rum. Which brings me to my next point...
• Cut down on alcohol consumption. Honestly, I don't drink that much (and I'm not just saying that, it's actually true). It's like my incredibly-strict-on-alcohol undergrad institution is still looking over my shoulder with every sip, so it's a little like a guilt trip every time! But sometimes, when we're sitting around a campfire and having a grand old time, we lose track and have one too many watermelon Smirnoffs, and then all you have is a stomachache and empty calories coursing through your body. Unnecessary.
• Use that YWCA pass! The seminary pays for most of our yearly memberships, so students only have to pay $25 for a whole year at the Y. This is an incredible deal, which I did take advantage of. I've gone to a few Zumba classes (Latin dance workout...incredible) and I've used the elliptical a few times, but I have not been diligent. Tragically, an increase in workout time means getting up at 5:00 so I can be at the gym by 5:15 (it's a blissful two-minute walk from my apartment), back by 6:00 and ready for my 8:30 class. This will require quite a bit of motivation, but it's probably the most necessary part of this plan.
• Get more sleep. I'm currently running on an average of 5 hours a night. That is definitely not enough. In addition to making me unhealthier overall, when I'm tired, I don't feel like cooking. When I don't feel like cooking, I end up eating something quick, easy and really unhealthy, or something that a friend cooks, which is delicious and home-made, but also really unhealthy.

So, on that note, I should probably get to sleep, since I now have 3 hours and 53 minutes until my alarm is going off. And it's not like I can hit snooze and roll back over for a few more hours. I have to read a lot of material and then write a paper on it, so coherence will be a necessity. Thankfully, God made coffee for this exact purpose.

Although, come to think of it, I should probably cut caffeine from my diet as well. What have I gotten myself into?