I wanna be hot

Hello all! As LNDQ so eloquently said (and if we're doing nicknames, I would like to be Sassy. I thought about being SS, but that's a little too "Nazi secret police" for me), I wanna be hot. I've struggled with weight since...well, forever, but I think I'm finally at a place where I'm ready to take control. I've graduated from college, so no more of this "college lifestyle" excuse anymore. Granted, I am in grad school full time, but that will not be an excuse. There is a perfectly good YWCA within eyesight of my apartment building, and there are so many cookbooks and websites for healthy cooking, there is no reason I can't start eating healthier. I am gonna get hot.

Now, I don't know about LNDQ (well, actually, I do, but I don't want to put words in her mouth or anything!), but my definition of hot does not look like either of the following:

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I think of hot as a mindset. If you think you're hot, you're hot. Now that could easily turn into delusion, but I'd like to stay in the real world, so I have some idea of how I envision myself looking when I am hot. But I also have an idea of how I'll feel. Like I can go clothes shopping with all of my friends and not feel self-conscious about trying things on. Like I don't really dislike what I see when I look in the mirror in the morning (afternoon/evening...whenever). Like I can not worry about whether or not people are making snap judgments about me based solely on my appearance. Those kinds of things. There will be more on this later, when I talk about goals.

My ultimate goal is to be healthy. But honestly? A huge motivator in this is wanting to look awesome at my best friend's wedding (also, I have like, six best friends, so I'll use initials to keep them straight when I talk about them). I had this revelation last night, when I was desperately trying to get to sleep but couldn't seem to turn off my brain. You can read the entire post over at The Sassy Seminarian, but I'm copying and pasting the important part over here. You can read that below.

I'm excited about this new development. I'm excited that LNDQ and I can do this together, even though we're 62 miles apart at the moment. I'm excited that some of my friends at the seminary have already agreed to work out with me so I have some accountability there. I'm really excited to see the changes that are going to happen over the next few months, both physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But most of all, I'm excited to finally get this one aspect of my life under control, something I haven't been able to do in the past.

I hope you'll bear with me through this process. I am already mortified at the thought of posting before/during/after photos here, for everyone to see. Just fyi, I probably won't post my actual weight, because the numbers thing is terrifying for me. I'll do +/- (hopefully only the latter!) updates...which means I should probably get a scale...anyway, I'm hoping that committing to this with someone else will keep me accountable, and the public aspect of it will help keep me motivated.

So, without further ado, the post that started it all. Basically, the first few paragraphs deal with my intense love for weddings. I'll say it here too: I. love. weddings. But anyway, here's where we pick up the important part:

That being said, I practically passed out with joy when said newly-engaged best friend (ALP, as she will be known henceforth) asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I've never been in a wedding before, and I couldn't be more honored to be asked to be in this one. It's even more exciting because, as I mentioned, her soon-to-be husband (JD, for space's sake) is also a good friend of mine, so there won't be any of the awkwardness of "who is this guy you're marrying?" going on. Added bonus: her maid of honor is her younger sister (RP), who I've met a few times and is completely fantastic, and the other bridesmaid (LFT) is my other best friend from college! LFT and I always have more fun than I believe is legally allowed at dances and weddings, so ALP & JD's wedding is going to be absolute insanity. Oh my word, I am excited.

As of now, the wedding is potentially in July of 2010...meaning I have about ten months to get Bridesmaid Hot. I'm going to be honest here: ALP, RP and LFT are flat-out hot. We don't mince words here at the seminary, in case you haven't noticed. I would like to be hot as well. So, that means a few things:

• Raid my fridge and eliminate anything that is disgustingly unhealthy. This should be easy, since my fridge is kind of empty now.
• Only get lunch in the refectory (read: mini-cafeteria) on days that have healthier food. Sadly, this means I will not get to experience the wing bar or creamy pasta sauces, but I will indulge in huge plates of salad with generous portions of cucumbers, carrots and broccoli, a sprinkling of sunflower seeds, and some fat-free dressing.
• Eliminate soda from my vocabulary. This is very difficult, especially when it tastes so good mixed with a little bit of rum. Which brings me to my next point...
• Cut down on alcohol consumption. Honestly, I don't drink that much (and I'm not just saying that, it's actually true). It's like my incredibly-strict-on-alcohol undergrad institution is still looking over my shoulder with every sip, so it's a little like a guilt trip every time! But sometimes, when we're sitting around a campfire and having a grand old time, we lose track and have one too many watermelon Smirnoffs, and then all you have is a stomachache and empty calories coursing through your body. Unnecessary.
• Use that YWCA pass! The seminary pays for most of our yearly memberships, so students only have to pay $25 for a whole year at the Y. This is an incredible deal, which I did take advantage of. I've gone to a few Zumba classes (Latin dance workout...incredible) and I've used the elliptical a few times, but I have not been diligent. Tragically, an increase in workout time means getting up at 5:00 so I can be at the gym by 5:15 (it's a blissful two-minute walk from my apartment), back by 6:00 and ready for my 8:30 class. This will require quite a bit of motivation, but it's probably the most necessary part of this plan.
• Get more sleep. I'm currently running on an average of 5 hours a night. That is definitely not enough. In addition to making me unhealthier overall, when I'm tired, I don't feel like cooking. When I don't feel like cooking, I end up eating something quick, easy and really unhealthy, or something that a friend cooks, which is delicious and home-made, but also really unhealthy.

So, on that note, I should probably get to sleep, since I now have 3 hours and 53 minutes until my alarm is going off. And it's not like I can hit snooze and roll back over for a few more hours. I have to read a lot of material and then write a paper on it, so coherence will be a necessity. Thankfully, God made coffee for this exact purpose.

Although, come to think of it, I should probably cut caffeine from my diet as well. What have I gotten myself into?